If you live on this planet Earth I know you had the profound experience of dealing with lunatics or those who are control freaks. With years of experience surviving having gone through and pummeled through the gauntlet of anger, need to control, childishness, and other behaviors, which I don’t have eloquent words for, I share in this blog how to deal with this type of behavior while first understanding what may cause this toxic life syndrome and diarrhea of the attitude.
Here is Wiki’s definition of a “lunatic”:
“The word lunatic is borrowed from the Latin “lunacus”, in turns stemming from “luna” (moon), which denotes the traditional link made in folklore between madness and the phases of the moon. This probably refers to the symptoms of cyclic mood disorders such as bipolar disorder or cyclothymia, the symptoms of which may also go through phases. As yet there no evidence whatsoever for any causal link between phases of the moon and the progression of mood disorder symptoms. Correlation has been observed in distant parts.
Mental institutions used to be called “lunatic asylums” or colloquially, “loony bins”.”
I often have the usually unfortunate dubious honor of being subjected to those who have “issues” who I guess for lack of endearing terms are lunatics, rageaholics, controlaholics, and creeps.
Here is Wiki’s definition of a “Control Freak”:
“In psychology–related slang, control freak is a derogatory term for a person who attempts to dictate how everything around them is done. It can also refer to someone with a limited number of things that they want done a specific way; professor of clinical psychology Les Parrott wrote that “Control Freaks are people who care more than you do about something and won’t stop at being pushy to get their way.“
In some cases, the control freak sees their constant intervention as beneficial or even necessary; this can be caused by feelings of superiority, believing that others are incapable of handling matters properly, or the fear that things will go wrong if they don’t attend to every detail. In other cases, they may simply enjoy the feeling of power it gives them so much that they automatically try to gain control of everything around them.”
You would think these experiences are terrible and they are an alien drip to be avoided. Because there is a lesson to be learned in everything you do and those you encounter, no matter how big the diapers they are wearing, there is no random chance occurrences if you subscribe to the principles of the Celestine Prophecy, and Laws of Attraction. For more about a group gatherings practicing these philosophies visit www.powermastery.com.
In business like it or not everyone is your boss! If you are an employee.. my condolences if you wind up in a mismatch with those you report to. So, how do you escape this convoluted ethereal maze of mental imprisonment and emotional punishment? You can fire your clients, quit your job, or lose your friends.. there is certainly no lack of energy vampires — you know those people who just suck the life from you.
As amusing as some of what I jot down here may seem if you use the concepts and principles of what I am sharing you will discover they can be applied to increasing your business, career and personal results. This is especially helpful in experiential marketing.
Well lets suppose you need the job or these are top clients you depend on or those you have to work with. Then how do you avoid cruising for a brusin’? The Bee Gees have a song titled “Staying Alive”. No matter how tight those pants were when they were singing that song there is something of import in those words of wisdom.
Let me cite some experiences as examples of dealing with those who have crossed over to the other side (when I say that I mean crossed over the proverbial line in the sand) and how I handled it. First and foremost I am not perfect and there are those who get to a point where I feel would be better off dropped off on the moon for a lifetime of R and R. So this is not the Ghandi methodology of letting people do a Mexican hat dance on you or rain dribble and swine flu on your parade it is approaching a really bad situation and dealing with “what is” because you can’t change other people, you can only change your own mental and emotional state.
1. Ever have some unload their frustrations on you? I mean really unload like the wrath of the gods for hell? Short of locking them up and forcing them to sit through a debate on health care between the democrats and republicans lets begin by understanding where that persons references were or are being formed. References are what drive our behaviors. These are supported by beliefs and backed by principles. Find someone who has a soap box issue that you encroached upon and prepare for “War of the Worlds” if you engage them.
Sometimes it is best to just listen and let them blow off all their steam. Don’t even respond, don’t interrupt. Listen, smile and thank them for sharing and just keep it zipped (your mouth that is). You can respond to this when the nuclear meltdown has subsided and Homer Simpson can safely re-enter and work with the nuclear reactor. Sometimes it is best to not engage the spoiler on their terms. Dictate your terms and you define your own victory and sanity.. so “dance into the light”. If you are curious how you too can dance into the light we have a mastermind circle with details at Powermastery.
You may be insulted, you may be accused of all sorts of erroneous things that are just crazy and unheard of, you may even be verbally lambasted .. Arnold Schwarzenegger got nailed with an egg on his shoulder by a heckler while he was campaigning. What do you think he did? He didn’t bench press the guy nor give him an Austrian Iron Man weggie, he merely responded .. “got bacon?”. How do you think this panned out for Arnold vs the heckler.. your judgment I am sure still sound enough to figure this out.
2. There will be a time someone will make draconian statements using such terms as “everyone”, “no one”, “all”, etc. These are global statements and seldom ever true. Once someone begins making statements with these terms you know the credibility they have is from their stuffed animals sitting in the corner of a very dark room where they find those who will listen to them.
If you have someone make a global statement you can ask them in a polite way you’re curious who everyone is who told you that, or ask them to share a few examples so you can better understand. If you challenge them in a confrontational manner you both loose.
Bottomline is you most likely rather not have to deal with these people and their excess baggage. Yes, you read that correctly. Often those who attempt to control the situation or environment by making statements only a lunatic or person who chooses to be ignorant would make have a high sense of discomfort which ultimately means pain when confronted with change. Change in their own environment or situation, and often it is just perceived.
This is a new world, a new economy and a new way of doing business. If you do not adapt to change and get a bit uncomfortable, because with any change, even positive, to take place there will be a degree of discomfort, anxiety and even pain before we discover an new level of success called breakthrough. Remember one important statement I made earlier.. you cannot change others only yourself, your attitude, and your emotional state. Those who keep raging will keep falling further behind and never achieve the quality of life they can have in their lifetimes. The really unfortunate outcome of this is they will drag others into their muck along the way.
The sense and sensibility here is to hold to your wits and not be dragged into the mud pit. Take the high road and if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it.. you’ll save yourself several Tibetan reincarnations of stress and battle with the shank.
Often a great action is to conduct a pattern interrupt to break them from their tirade or rant so at least you can deal in a sensible manner with the insanely crazy comments that just keeping getting more spectacular. Often I wonder if I should suggest they can make a great living writing fiction. Great way to diffuse a train of thought and highly effective in creating experiential marketing results where creating positive change or conversion is desired.
There is Paraedo’s 80/20 rule and if you stay head above all else in the 20% then you will be in good company in the 80% that believes in compassion, understanding, and understands the value of treating others as they would like to be treated. The question is do you want to be part of the 80% who can live a peaceful holistic spiritual life with a zen like character or be the rage in the machine that beats up on those closest to them when the moments right? When we better understand others we know where the fire is and so we can get the hell out of Dodge.. not to abandon the innocent, but triage those you can’t and they don’t want your help — just to stay the course.. their way.
In a future blog I will share some information about pattern interrupts and how to use them effectively in experiential marketing. Want to learn more about your human potential and connect with a life force of people who believe in living with a positive attitude and possibility instead of impossibility and improbability they you need to visit our force for good at www.powermastery.com. This is not an information site it is a site with an event calendar bringing together those of like minds while also providing support materials, inspiration, motivation, etc in our monthly newsletter.